For nearly a year I have been pursuing multiple projects at once, in the effort to be open to the best option and hoping it would reveal itself. However, somewhere between two and ten projects lies a threshold between multitasking and unraveling. Will I ever figure out that magic number?
This multitasking fuels several weeks with 100% energy on one project, followed by several weeks 100% on another. In some ways this is satisfying and effective. In other ways the transitions leave a feeling of dislocation and being out of touch, a Sisyphean thirst for completion.
Now I am making small steps to simplify. The first was to drop a pending job offer after sitting on it longer than was reasonable for anyone involved. Finally it is done, though not without excessive investment emotionally, intellectually, and politically in a path that was not for me.
Immediately afterward I held my breath, but the days and weeks that followed have made it clear that saying "no" was the best answer. Clearly I need more practice saying "no" to perceived opportunities.
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